It is important that you honestly identify whether or not you may have a tendency toward codependency in your romantic relationships. People in recovery, as well as their romantic partners, may be especially at risk for forming codependent relationships.
How to Date Someone Who Is Codependent
People in recovery often have difficulty identifying, owning and regulating their emotions. They may have altered thought processes and have difficulty making accurate interpretations. For this reason, many step programs recommend that members do not form romantic relationships with other members. People in recovery need to focus on their own needs first, vs. Once they become emotionally strong and secure in their own worth, they are ready to start a romance with less risk for codependence being a part of the mix. Another risk when you rush a romantic relationship is that you may not get a chance to really know the person you are involved with.
According to a study conducted by the global research agency OpinionMatters for the Huffington Post , 53 percent of Americans reported that they lie on their online dating profiles.
Romance in Recovery: Are You Rushing Your Relationship?
Today, many relationships either start online or involve communications that take place largely via digital devices. Only by allowing a relationship to evolve over a sufficient time span can you be certain of the true personality and real values of a potential partner.
If you are in recovery, how do you decide when it is prudent to get into, or escalate, a relationship, so that your recovery is not at risk for being compromised?
For those seeking addiction treatment for themselves or a loved one, the Recovery. Our helpline is offered at no cost to you and with no obligation to enter into treatment. Find the Right Addiction Recovery Center. Call Who Answers? Are You Rushing Your Relationship?
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Liv is passionate about challenging limiting mentalities and empowering others to direct their own lives, health, and recovery. You can find her articles across the web on podcasts and addiction recovery websites, including The Fix, Recovery. If not, be kind and terminate the relationship before getting further involved. Being supportive means that you must be educated on their recovery process and know their triggers. It also means allowing them space and time to practice self-care. You might also want to check-in with yourself to see if you suffer from codependent tendencies.
Someone who struggles with codependency is going to have a hard time successfully navigating a relationship with a person in recovery. The truth is, addiction is a chronic disease prone to relapses.
According to a Psychology Today article , an estimated 40 to 60 percent of people in recovery relapse. Unfortunately, relapse can happen at any time. If something seems off, ask. This may sound heartless, but the power of addiction is ruthless. Sticking around will only pull you into the center of the storm.
Just because they are late meeting you or not answering the phone does not mean that they are off doing drugs. Doing so will help build confidence and life skills as well as the ability to function separately. In a situation in which codependency is affecting the functioning of an individual, counseling or a step program such as codependents anonymous may be a good option, says Lancer.
How to Stay Clear of Codependent Relationships
Codependent individuals need to learn how to become more assertive and build self-esteem — both of which may require professional help beyond what you can offer as a dating partner. Codependent individuals are also usually drawn to others with their own personal issues such as addictions. If you suffer with a mental health concern yourself, and feel that you are being enabled in your addiction or other behavior by a codependent dating partner, seeking treatment for your addiction or other problem will be beneficial for the relationship as a whole.
Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since , specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings.
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Cuncic holds an M. Baby Registry Baby Registry Finder.
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